It's all because of you
by f.j.k.w
Summary: The Wellers: Jane, Kurt and their little monkey
1. Chapter 1: Newborn sun

When the doctor puts the baby in Jane's chest for the first time, he feels his heart exploding. She is crying loudly but slowly stops when Jane starts whispering to her, caressing her with feather touches, cradling her closer. She looks at her with big blue eyes, the first person to ever see, her mommy, and neither he nor Jane can hold their tears anymore. She is theirs and she is absolutely perfect. They look at each other and their baby and they cannot believe that they have made it there, that they now have a daughter, a family.

He looks in awe memorizing every single moment of this first encounter. The two creatures he loves more than anything in the world. Their daughter squirming in her mother's arms, moving her little hands, looking into her eyes. He can swear she knows who she is; she recognizes Jane's voice, the same voice she heard every night for the last months reading stories to her, singing to her, telling her how she can't take anymore her daddy hovering around all the time. Does she remember her voice? What had Dr Borden said about that?

They are talking to him now but he cannot hear anything but his daughter's first noises and his heart's beats. "Would you like to hold her, too?" It's Jane looking at him with a watery smile. He does. He stretches his arms and Jane puts her gently there. "It's your daddy," she whispers.

He brings her close to his chest and his daughter looks at him for the first time. Time stops. And he knows, he knows, that no matter what, he will unconditionally adore her till his last day. She is just so beautiful. She has her mommy's dark hair and his blue eyes. She looks like Jane but she also looks like him. He is smiling like an idiot and he's sure the baby smiles back.

"She's a beautiful baby Agent Weller, isn't she?" the doctor teasingly asks.

"She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he says not taking his eyes of her.

"I have to settle for second best from now on, doc?" Jane asks brushing Kurt's arm.

"You will never stand a chance against her, Jane," he smiles.

Kurt keeps cradling the baby, staring at her eyes, touching her tiny little fingers with his. There no words to describe her.

"Agent Weller, we have to take her to clean her up and do some tests, okay?" the doctor says while a nurse gently takes the baby from a very unwilling Kurt.

"Can I just hold her for a minute, please?" It's Jane realizing that she's already terribly missing having her daughter in her arms. She takes her again, holding tighter this time, pushing her forehead against her daughter's. "Mommy loves you baby, I love you. They have to take you for a few minutes but we'll be together in no time and we will not be apart again, never."

She looks questioningly at the doctor and he smiles. "Never," he reassures her and when Jane keeps staring at him he laughs. "Have I ever lied to you Jane?" He hasn't, so, Jane hands the baby over feeling her heart aching.

"Agent Weller, can you also please step outside? You'll see them both in less than an hour."

"That's too much doc… Half an hour or I'll use my badge." The doctor nods and Kurt turns to Jane. She smiles, a wide glorious happy smile, as he frames her face in his hands. "I love you baby. You can't imagine how much I love you…" he says and pulls her in his chest kissing her hair. "Thank you Janie. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. She is so perfect…" he whispers and she hugs him tightly closing her eyes.

"We did it baby," she breathes in his chest, "Can you believe she is ours? Can you believe it?" She's crying now, all the stress and fear and agony of the last few months washing away. He kisses her tears away reassuring her.

When he steps out in the hallway, he is not sure he remembers how to breathe anymore. Their universe has been transformed. Its center has been shifted and they are both now eternally orbiting around their newborn sun. He can't think about anything else but her blue eyes and Jane's smile. Nothing else matters.

He looks at his watch. He gives the doc another twenty minutes before her enters in there with his badge to see his girls. He knows he is ridiculous, he knows they owe to her doctor eternal gratitude for everything he has done for them, but he just needs to be with them. He's aching for them.


	2. Chapter 2: Fears of the past

He thinks back at the last few months. When they found out Jane was pregnant, he was ecstatic and she was both ecstatic and terrified. She wanted the baby like crazy. But her fears over the past, all that she thought she had left behind her, came viciously to the surface to haunt her again.

After three years as a couple, she had come a long way facing her demons with Kurt's and Dr Borden's help. But now they were consuming her all over again. Her deepest fear, the one she could not admit even to herself, was that her violent traumatic past had permanently sealed her future and condemned any chance of normalcy and real happiness.

She was afraid that she could never be a good mother or even a decent one, that she could never teach her child how to interact with other people, that she could never love it enough or hold it properly, that she would not even be capable to make sure her child was properly fed or dressed. She was struggling thinking how she would explain all these tattoos, how her past actions would affect her child's everyday life and interaction with other people. She was torturing herself.

Kurt was forever by her side, always supportive and reassuring and optimistic, but that was not enough for her anymore. "You love me and you are blinded. You always have been," were her words to him one night and, although, it had hurt him deeply, he couldn't but understand where it was coming from. She was in panic.

The first few weeks after they found out, she had been waking up at the middle of the night trembling and sweating and cried in his arms until she was exhausted. She was afraid that all these drugs, all this bad treatment of her body had already harmed the baby. She had Patterson, Dr Borden and Dr Watson (her gynecologist, a close friend of Borden whom she came to trust after going to at least five other doctors) run every possible test (and invent some new ones) to make sure the baby was alright, that it wouldn't suffer from any terrible disease because of her. She had to restrain herself from going to Borden's lab everyday to have an ultrasound and check the fetus.

Kurt would forever be grateful to these people for the way they have supported Jane though this. Patterson and Borden had been there every single day, every single step of the way. They had taken it personally, and, somehow, their reassurances, their expertise, seemed to calm her more than he could ever do, he "the blinded one".

It had taken a toll on her. She had redrawn from the field since day one. That was not that difficult to understand; running up and down having guns pointed at her was not exactly what the doctor would suggest a pregnant woman to do. But, she also did not want to be in the office or do anything else. She was just too scared, too confused, feeling too guilty and incompetent. Kurt didn't know what to do.

One night, she was buried in his arms, crying and blaming herself, really scared because one blood test showed signs of anemia - a common thing in pregnancy, easily treated by supplementing the diet with iron, vitamins and folic acid as her doctor suggested. Kurt took her face in his hands kissing her tears away and asked her if she really wanted to have the baby.

She was shocked, he was immediately sorry. "You know I do, why you would say something like this," she cried.

"Baby, I know how scared you are. Believe me, I do. But you have to believe all of us when we say that you should relax. We have made all the tests anyone could ever do. The baby is fine and we have the best people watching both of you," he whispered in her temple running his hands up and down her back.

"I know the past scares you. But we define our future now. Haven't we done this together in the last three years?" he asked lovingly.

"We have," she answered not looking at him.

"And is it a good life? Are you happy?" he tried to make her look him in the eyes. She was still crying, but smiled at him.

"Of course I am Kurt. It is a great life. I love it, I love you, you know that, you know... But this is different. I know nothing about this, nothing, how am I supposed to do this?" She sounded and looked scared. He caressed her cheeks and kissed her lightly.

"No one goes into this knowing what to do, baby. Everybody is clueless. But, we will make it work like we did with everything else. And you know what? We'll be great at it…" he smiled at her and kissed her again.

She stubbornly shook her head. "You'll be great. I'll probably destroy everything".

His patience was running out but he needed desperately to make her believe in herself, to give her hope. "You didn't destroy us, Jane. This relationship is working because both of us, you and me, are trying our best every day. We'll do the same with the baby. Stop underestimating you so much," he raised his voice.

Her hormones in play, Jane snapped. "Well, I almost did destroy us Kurt, if you remember."

"I am not even going to go there, Jane. Stop it now." He also snapped but then lowered his voice. "Listen Janie, I am scared too. My childhood was fucked up. It was nowhere near normal most of the time. You know that I, too, get up in the middle of the night having nightmares. Fearing that you are taken away from me once again or, lately, that the baby is taken away or that I am a terrible father like my father was to Sara and me. But, I know that I will do anything in my power to make sure that neither happens."

She was looking at him with sad watery eyes. Her fingers touched lightly his face."Oh, Kurt…"

He pulled her closer to him and hugged her as tightly as he could. "And I expect you to do the same thing. Will you do everything you can for me and the baby Jane?" he asked putting his hand under her chin.

"I will do anything," she answered without hesitation and smiled.

"Then, we are going to be just fine!" He kissed her forehead and, then, trailed down to her cheek and jaw. "I mean, Sara managed to keep Sawyer alive feeding him burned pancakes. At least our child will eat better!"

She laughed genuinely at that and her eyes got their sparkle back. Oh god, how he had missed that…

"I'm gonna tell your sister what you said, Weller!" she threatened him, smirking mischievously.

"Do whatever you want, Shaw. But for now, can you just please kiss your husband? And consider doing, you know, more? The doctor said we can still do anything we want," he winked at her.

She grinned widely. "You are not my husband, Weller!" she teased him. And that was sadly true.

God, she did that to him all the time and it got to him every single f...king time, although he, sure as hell, was not the one to blame.

"And, I hear now that you are you going behind my back asking the doctor about us having sex? Do you have no shame?" She continued laughing.

Ok, that was enough! He pinned her beneath him with one move, carefully placing himself above her. She put her arms behind his neck looking into his eyes mischievously. She knew what was coming and loved it.

"And whose fault is that Shaw? Whose fault is it? I did everything I was supposed to do. I got the ring, I booked the tickets to Florence, I proposed, I even got you to that stupid town to see Romeo and Juliet's house getting myself almost arrested for climbing that wall. And what did you do? You ruthlessly took the ring, but refused to marry me. I am doomed in boyfriend status for life. And you know what? Now, that I think about it, perhaps, I should take that ring back".

She was grinning like an idiot. She thought about that night. Kurt Weller had gone all the way. Big time… She moved her left hand from his neck and brought it in her lips kissing the ring with the emerald stones ("To match your eyes," he had told her…) and then kissed his lips. "I will never give you this ring back, never…" she said.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah" she dared him.

"Well, in that case, I only have one thing to say to you. Just think about the kind of psychological traumas you will cause our kid by refusing to marry me and calling me your 'boyfriend' when the parents of her classmates ask about our relationship," he said kissing her ring.

She hit him on the ribs. "That was low even for you Weller!" she laughed. "And it's 'her' classmates, now isn't it?" she teased. "What if 'she' is a 'he'?'" she asked.

"It's a 'she'. I can tell. I can feel it. And about that other thing, you so conveniently try to avoid, no, I am not ashamed at all for asking the doctor. And next time, I will ask him in front of you and make sure you listen and blush. Don't smile like that. I will. I wanna have sex with you every minute of every day, because you know, we are boyfriend and girlfriend. If we were married, perhaps, I would be less enthusiastic, but, I guess we'll never know, will we Janie?" he asked smiling at her.

He lifted her shirt and started kissing her growing belly. She brushed his hair with her fingers. "Every minute of every day?" she asked innocently.

"All the time baby," he said never stopping the kisses.

"Now, that's a lot Weller, and you know, with you being almost forty, I am afraid that's wishful thinking," she replied innocently.

He lifted his head staring daggers at her. She brushed his lips with her fingers looking very pleased by what she knew was coming.

"Okay, Jane. You know what? I am done with you. Now, I am doubly offended. First of all, I am not even thirty nine yet, and second, baby, you do have a short memory and I can only attribute it to your crazy hormones. But let me remind you just what I can do to you," he said looking at her angrily and lovingly at the same time.

She hugged him. "Perhaps you can show me. But, be careful, okay?"

"Always, baby, always."


	3. Chapter 3: Hope for the future

After that night, she seemed better, her fears more controlled. She had started enjoying her pregnancy and everybody's attention a little bit, although, you could still tell she got really nervous very often, especially when a new test or ultrasound was scheduled. The days before she had her mid-pregnancy ultrasound, when the doctor would closely examine the baby for several anomalies, Jane's stress levels reached a high again. She could not sleep well, she was distracted, and nothing Kurt, Borden or Patterson did could make her feel better.

The morning of their appointment, Jane was a wreck. She was holding Kurt's hand with a death grip but was just unable to hear anything he was saying to her. Kurt, really worried, asked Borden to be with them. When inside the examination room, she refused to let Kurt's hand for any reason, and she was shaking the whole the time. Kurt was brushing her cheek and kept whispering to her ear but she was just looking terrified. Her blood pressure was really high, and he could see that the doctor was also worried.

"Okay, Jane. I think that we should stop the examination now and just talk for a little bit," the doctor suggested.

Jane panicked. There was something wrong with the baby. What was it? What were they not telling her? "Is the baby alright?" she asked feeling her heart in her throat.

"She is just fine," he said, "but I think her mom really isn't."

"It's a girl?" she asked as tears were falling from her green eyes.

"It's a girl! A healthy little girl, with perfect measurements. She takes after her mom I guess," he told her smiling.

Kurt was sure that his heart had stopped. He almost lost it.

"Come on Agent Weller, close your mouth now, and take your wife back to my office. We have to talk before we go on," the doctor suggested leaving the room with a smile.

The parents to be were left alone to digest what he had just told them... "A little girl," Kurt thought to himself, "A little girl taking after her mommy." He hugged Jane kissing the top of her head and led her to the doctor's office.

Borden was there waiting for them. Jane sat in the chair in front of the doctor's office and Kurt sat beside her. She grabbed his hand again and looked at the doctor really nervous. "Well?" she mumbled.

"Well, Jane I think I am going to reprimand you today. You know what happened to your blood pressure in there? It skyrocketed. I'll be honest with you. If you don't relax immediately and if you don't try to be calm for the next few months, you will get your baby in trouble. Do you want that?" the doctor asked her carefully.

"No, of course not," she said while tears started falling again from her eyes.

"Do you trust me Jane? Do you trust Dr Borden? Do you trust your partner?" he asked again.

"Of course I do," she said, lips trembling.

"Well to me it seems that you do not trust any of us," said Dr Watson. "Otherwise, you would believe us when we say that your baby is absolutely fine, she is healthy, her heart is strong, she is growing everyday and now she can feel you, she can listen to you and she can understand when you are okay and when you are not. And the last few days, she felt like you were not okay."

Jane was now sobbing uncontrollably, almost cracking Kurt's hand. Kurt was losing his mind. He was seriously thinking about hitting the doctor. Borden touched his forearm to tell him to let the doctor continue. Jane needed to hear this.

The doctor left his chair and sat on the edge of his desk in front of Jane. He reached for her free hand and she gave it to him. "Look at me Jane. I would never lie to you. I think you know that. Neither would these two. She's fine. She's healthy. In four months you'll be holding your daughter in your arms. And you'll will be a good mom. I can tell that. Do you believe me when I say this?" he was talking really softly and really slowly.

Jane was sobbing but never stopped looking at his eyes. "I don't know Dr Watson," she said, "I am afraid that I may not be".

"Well, Jane, do you love your baby?" he asked again softly holding her hand tighter.

"Yes..." She was really crying now and Kurt felt his heart breaking. "What the hell is this doctor doing?" he thought, "is he trying to break her down completely?" But Borden touched his arm again.

"And you'll do anything I'd ask you to do for her sake? Do you do those injections and take all the pills and the vitamins, and do you drink the horrible juices and foods I asked you to eat? Have you been resting and following my advice?" the doctor asked again. He knew Jane was doing everything by the book, never questioned the doctor's orders, never complained that she did't like something or that it made her uncomfortable, even those injections. Well, everything except the worry and stress part. But, he honestly couldn't blame her for this. He could see how hard she was trying, how overwhelming all this was for her. But, he also knew that from time to time he had to be the one to shake her.

She gave him a watery smile. "I do," she whispered.

"Then, I think you do all the things a good mom would do." He smiled at her genuinely. Jane was one of his favorite patients. Strong and fragile at the same time. Confident but also shy. And above all, loving and protective of the people around her.

"But, what if these are not enough, Dr Watson?" she asked.

Well, that was the eternal question when it came to Jane. What if I am not enough, what if what I do is not enough, what if what I know is not enough, what if the way I love is not enough, what if how much I love is not enough, what if how I do my job is not enough, what if how much I try is not enough. Her everlasting fear.

"They are more than enough. I say so, Dr Borden says so, Kurt says so and your little girl says so. Now, are you so stubborn that you won't believe any of us? Is she so stubborn, Agent Weller?" The doctor looked at Kurt but he kind of knew the answer. He had known Jane for three months now.

Kurt sighed heavily looking at Jane. He was crazy for her but… "You have no idea, doc."

Jane protested. "Hey…" she said looking at him but she was smiling now. She turned to the doctor again.

"Jane, I am going to ask you to do one more thing to make sure the baby is fine. Are you willing to do it? It's kind of hard, I have to warn you," the doctor said to her.

"I'll do anything," she replied without hesitation.

"Very well, then. Be happy. Be appreciative of the gift you were given. Smile. Start making plans for your baby. Stop worrying for the past and be determined to give your little girl the best future you can. Listen to your doctors and stop giving Agent Weller here such a hard time. Give the poor guy a break, Jane".

Jane grinned at the doctor. "Are you sure I have nothing to be afraid of? Are you sure doctor?" she asked again.

"Yes. Yes, I am very sure Jane. Okay?" the doctor sighed but smiled at her.

Jane smiled too. "Okay, Dr Watson. I'll do everything you asked me to do. I promise. Promise I will. Except, maybe, the last one. He's not as innocent as he looks, you know", she said looking at Kurt but her smile said something else.

They, then, went back into the examination room to see their baby. They listened to her heartbeat and saw her little nose and ears, her arms, her legs, her little fingers. She was awake and she was squirming and she was the most glorious thing they'd even seen. He could not wait for her to arrive. He could not wait to meet this teeny tiny little creature made just by Jane and him.

Jane seemed relaxed now and happy, but of course, she was crying again. She would do that for the rest of her pregnancy for no reason at all.

When Jane got at the door hugging the doctor and saying goodbye, Kurt asked if he could stay for one more minute. She looked at him embarrassed. "Please, do not ask the doctor anything… inappropriate, Kurt" she spelled.

Well, normally he would reassure her, but now, he thought to himself, she totally deserved that so… "I have some questions about sex in the last months of pregnancy, Jane. You can stay and listen if you want or I could tell you everything later". She turned red and turned around, leaving the room. Borden was laughing.

"Well, Agent Weller?" said the doctor with a smile "what exactly you wanna know?"

He laughed. "Nothing doc. I just want to say thank you for everything you are doing for us, for Jane. She is having a really hard time and sometimes I just don't know what to do. I feel like nothing I do is enough" he admitted.

The doctor laughed. He had been having this conversation with every dad he'd ever met. "Well, join the long list of expecting fathers, Agent Weller. Just be there, love her, do what she asks and take the blame for everything. Trust me, it will be okay!"


	4. Chapter 4: Ready for the change

And it was okay. The next day Jane came to the office and announced that for the next couple of months she would be working in the analysts' department with Patterson. She ordered him to make the necessary arrangements with his boss. Then, she made him leave work and go take a look at cribs and other furniture and sheets and blankets for the baby. A couple of days later, they went to see strollers and, then, wallpapers.

In the weekend, she announced to him that she had decided who their baby's godparents would be: Patterson and Borden. She explained that the baby needed a positive intellectual influence in her life, something that neither of them could offer, apparently.

When Patterson heard the news, she exploded with joy, hugged Jane and they made plans for everything they would do for the baby until she was born and everything they would do with her until she turned eighteen and left the house to go to college.

When they went to Dr Borden's office and Jane asked him if he would like to be their daughter's godfather, he hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. He would love to. Jane had tears at her eyes again but so had Dr Borden. He held her hands and smiled. They didn't need to say much. Jane loved Dr Borden and considered him one of her best friends. She could never find the words to express her gratitude for his constant, unconditional, valuable help and support. This was her way. Kurt looked at both of them still excited and emotional, and he knew that this was equally important to him, that Jane was equally important to him.

The next three months had Jane and Patterson, and occasionally Sara or Tasha, and Kurt buying clothes and books and CDs for the baby, because, apparently, according to the godmother to be, it was important that their unborn little Einstein would be properly educated from a (really) young age.

The baby's ultrasound videos and photos were sent to the two godfathers and Sara and Tasha immediately after every appointment with the doctor. The same with every new addition to the baby's belongings. Jane was spamming them mercilessly, but they loved it and always asked for more. The baby's 3D ultrasound video was edited by Patterson and became the new screensaver at her's and Kurt's computer. They were all in the baby train.

Jane was happy and he was happy. He stomach was growing everyday and his daughter was keeping her busy and asleep dancing inside her belly. The evenings would find them in their house, with Jane resting at the couch or their bed reading fairy-tales to the baby, talking to her about what they would do when she was born, telling her stories about her and Kurt, or singing lullabies and songs approved by her godmother. Jane was glowing. She was stunning. She felt sure of herself. She was in control, after a long time. She was waiting for the baby with wild anticipation.

And he could not keep his eyes or his hands of her. Or their daughter. Jane was sure that the baby was recognizing her voice and her father's voice. She said that every time Kurt came back home in the evening, kneeling in front of her belly caressing their daughter and whispering to her, the baby recognized him and started squirming in a special way that was just for him. She was very strong about that and Kurt could only agree.

A couple of weeks before the baby arrived, her room was ready, her closet was all tied up, her books and CDs were all carefully arranged in her library selves, her toys in every corner of the house, the stroller was waiting by the door in the living room, her little suitcase and her mom's suitcase were side by side ready to be taken to the hospital. Jane could just not wait anymore.

Kurt had been afraid that she would freak out at the end (he was actually freaking out a little) but she was just so ready. Ready for everything to change, ready for raising their child, ready for all the things the future would bring. They could now feel every member of her little body. Her head, her fingers, her toes. When Jane pulled her shirt up at the night, he could see her little fingers or toes pressing Jane's skin. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He was ready too.


	5. Chapter 5: Meeting the family

And now she is here. With them. All theirs. Tiny and divine. He just can't believe any of it. His heart is bursting. He pulls himself together trying to remember what he has to do. The others… He had forgotten all about them. He left them in the waiting room, all of them, last night. He should go and tell them.

He opens the door and smiles. It is 7 am and they are all still here, almost all of them sleeping in the uncomfortable hospital chairs. All, but the two who jump into his arms. His sister and Patty are screaming! "Tell us! Tell us! How beautiful is she? How is Jane? Does she look like Jane or we were unlucky and she's a little Weller? Did she cry a lot? Did you see her eyes? Did you hold her? You did, didn't you? Tell us!" They just can't stop.

"She is beautiful, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She has blue eyes, but looks like Jane. Jane is fine, resting. My girl did a great job in there. Yes, I did hold her."

Sara is crying and so is Patterson. "Oh, my god Kurt… You have a baby girl. A little girl..." His sister hugs him and cries in his arms.

Patterson is next. "Oh, Kurt. I am so happy for you two, so happy." The others are up now giving him congratulations and hugs.

A nurse comes over and gently asks for Kurt. "Mr Weller would you like to see the baby now? I mean, you can all see her from behind the glass, while he holds her. Would you like that?" They would love that.

Kurt carefully enters the room still shaking a little and a smiling nurse gives him his daughter carefully wrapped up in a pink blanket. She is perfect. She is more than perfect. She is theirs. He cradles her tightly and kisses her forehead. Her skin is soft, her dark hair feel like silk, and she smells like happiness. Her eyes are closed and her long eyelashes remind him of Jane. He can see the others jumping on the other side of the glass and nods at them to keep quiet. He wants to be just the two of them for a little while.

"Mr Weller, you'd better show them the baby or they'll break the glass," the nurse laughs. They're irritating, really irritating, but he does as he is told. He approaches the glass and turns so that they can see her. They go crazy and he's smiling like a complete idiot.

Sara is sobbing uncontrollably. He sees Reade trying to talk to her, but she pushes him away and he can almost hear her say: "Go away Ed. My brother has a baby girl and I will cry as much as I like…" Kurt Weller is really, really happy…


	6. Chapter 6: Mommy and daddy

He enters Jane's room slowly and closes the door behind him carefully. She's in her bed holding their daughter and smiling wildly. "Come here," she says softly, "where have you been?"

"Out, with those idiots. I am telling you, Jane, they will kick us all out of the hospital because of them. They just can't behave. The went crazy when I showed them the baby," he sighs. Jane laughs as he approaches.

He takes off his jacket and comes next to her. "She's sleeping," she says. "Sit next to me." He does as told, putting his arms around Jane, holding her and their baby tightly and resting his chin on Jane's shoulder. "She is ours," Jane whispers in his cheek, "Our baby Kurt. Look at her…"

Kurt moves his hand on their daughter's head caressing her dark hair gently. She is perfect. "She was the most beautiful baby in the room, Jane. And while all the others cried, she was an angel," he says brushing the baby's cheeks.

"Oh, yeah? She was?" Jane laughs…

"Don't laugh," he says seriously, "The nurse said so too. Most beautiful girl…"

"Oh baby, your daddy is head over heels for you. Blinded all over again," she says softly and kisses her baby's skin. It feels so good, so good… Jane's heart is full. She can't believe that this is true. Their baby. Healthy and beautiful. Safe here with them. She loves this little human with all her being. More than she could ever imagine. She kisses her again and again. She's addicted to her and she's pretty sure she will be for the rest of her life.

"You did great today, Janie. You did really great. I am so proud of you. Love you…" he whispers kissing her shoulder. They just stay there in silence for a while, looking at their sleeping beauty, touching and kissing her.

"Happy?" she asks quietly turning her head to him.

"So very much," he replies and kisses her again. His wonderful girl, his partner in everything, the reason of everything good in his life, the most exciting, unselfish, loving, amazing woman on earth. The mother of his child. His Jane. He takes her head in his hands and kisses her everywhere.

She relishes it, but reprimands him when the baby starts moving. "Sshhh, we are gonna wake her up," she whispers. "Where are the others? Did you send them away?"

"I couldn't. Still out there waking every baby in the floor, I guess. I told Borden to keep them in order, but he just doesn't have it in him…" he replies making a face. "Why? Do you wanna see them?" he asks.

"Maybe…" she says softly.

"Who do you wanna see?" he asks her, but he already knows the answer to that.

"Your sister and my sister," she replies.

"Going to get them. Prepare the baby. She is in for a shock with these two, Janie… We are really pushing our luck here," he says laughing as he leaves the room. She knows but she can't wait for them to meet her. She starts kissing her perfect baby again.


	7. Chapter 7: The aunties

He goes out to the waiting room. "You two blondes come with me now. Your presence has been requested. The rest of you are dismissed. I do not want to see you again before 6:30 pm today. Reade, make sure they do as I say."

"Right on it, boss!" Reade takes command.

Sara and Patty rush behind him. They are delirious. He stops in front of Jane's door looking at them angrily. "If my daughter cries because you can't hold yourselves, I swear, you won't see her for the next month." That's too much and he knows it. They know it too and they nod.

He opens the door and they rush in. They hover over Jane looking between her and the baby full of smiles and tears. They hug her and touch the baby's skin. Sara is sobbing again and so is Jane. He kisses Jane's hair whispering thank you. Patty is fascinated by the baby. "Jane she is so beautiful. Oh my god, Jane I can't believe this!"

He is standing close to them now his arms crossed over his chest. The baby's eyelashes start fluttering. And then, she opens her eyes. She looks at their faces and starts crying. Jane laughs and brings her close to her chest and sways her back and forth whispering a song, the little one must know by now. She stops and looks at her mother's eyes. Jane smiles and Kurt knows that her heart is exploding right now. Because her daughter recognizes her, because she can make her daughter stop crying. Because she is being a mom to her child and this is the second victory of the day. She looks at Kurt and he nods to her smiling.

"Now, who wants to hold her for a bit?" she asks playfully and two pairs of hands are stressed her way. "Okay, it's Aunt Sara first," she says and places the baby in Sara's arms.

It's game over for Sara. There is no way on earth she can make herself not cry. Baby on her arms, she goes to Kurt and looks at him with tears on her eyes. "Your baby Kurt…" He places a kiss on the top of her head and one on the baby's head. "Your niece too…" She hugs the baby tightly and starts talking to her about all the things they're gonna do together.

And then, it's Patty's turn. "That's your godmother, baby. Our own genius. Most intelligent woman you'll probably ever meet. Does all the math in her head…" Kurt says and Patterson's elbow hits him on his side.

Okay, now there is a real spark of love and understanding when the two of them look at each other's eyes for the first time. Patterson falls for the baby. "I cannot believe this. Jane, she is a beauty. How is she real? And I can tell you guys, this kid over here, she's a little genius. I mean, she should be probably crying her lungs out right now, but she is just observing everything and everyone around here. I am telling you guys this is a sign of a very high IQ. The kid is learning right now as we speak."

Kurt looks at Jane. She is beaming with proud nodding at Patterson. He shakes his head in amusement, but hell, if he is honest with himself, he believes every word Patterson says. She is the most amazing, smart baby in the world, their daughter.


	8. Chapter 8: The love connection

He gets the baby in his arms again, goes by the window and lets the ladies talk to Jane. She is looking at him and he finds himself start talking to her about her mom, their home, her room and toys. But then suddenly she starts crying again, he tries to make her stop, but she doesn't. He turns to Jane. "Jane…."

"Bring her over here, Kurt," Jane laughs and gets the baby in her arms. "Oh little angel, what is it? Shh, mommy's here." Her voice is not that loud now but she still cries.

"I think she's hungry," says Sara to Jane really softly. Jane startles and looks at Kurt. This is it. They talked about it a hundred times. The one thing that made Jane nervous the last few weeks.

Sara and Patterson say their goodbyes and he calls the nurse who comes in smiling. "It looks like someone is very hungry here. Jane, do you want me to take her in and feed her or would you like to try yourself? We can do whatever you want, whatever you want is absolutely fine for the baby."

Jane is shaking and she looks at Kurt. He knows what she's thinking. He knows she wants badly to be the one feeding the baby. He also knows that she's terrified that she will not make it, that she's unfit, that she will not give her baby what she needs, that the baby will reject her. She talked to Dr Watson about this many times. He tried to reassure her in every way possible that it didn't matter. That it wouldn't make her less or more of a good mother. That whether they used a bottle or she breastfed, it would be fine. He had her talk with other mothers with babies. Kurt was sure that if things in the past were different, Jane would be really okay with any option. But, Jane's insecurities are what they are, and her fear of not being enough or not giving the baby everything she needed was stronger now than ever.

He goes by her side, sits in the bed and takes her free hand in his hands. "Janie, what would you like to do baby? Maybe, you want to try later? Would you like to rest some more, get your strength back, relax a little?" he asks as he brushes her fingers.

"I wanna try, but…" she whispers looking between him and the baby crying on her arms.

"Okay, let's try then. Nurse Davis is here to help you. You know her and you trust her." Jane nods almost tearfully.

The nurse comes next to her and Kurt sits in the chair near the door. "Okay, Jane. This is going to be a little tough at the beginning but we'll do it together. The baby and I will help you. Now, hold her against your chest and open your blouse."

Jane does as she is told. "Good. Now bring her closer to you, like that, very well Jane. Do you see that she's calmer now that your skin touches her skin?" It's true. The baby seems calmer now and so does Jane.

"We're doing really well. Try very slowly to bring her head in front of your breast. Good Jane. Very good. A little closer now. Very well. Now let's see what she does, let's give her some time. Right now her senses are high, mainly her smelling and touch. This is how she's gonna recognize you in the beginning: by how you smell and how you feel."

The baby has stopped crying. Her mouth is opening and closing on Jane's skin and Jane just wants to cry at this perfect sensation. And, then her little girl finds her nipple and starts eating, hungrily at the beginning and calmer after a while.

"Well Jane, it looks like you have a little champ!" says the nurse enthusiastically. "Look at her knowing exactly what she has to do!" The baby eats peacefully and Jane's smile is illuminating the whole room. "Whatever, the problem is, you should always trust that you and your baby will find the solution. Okay, Jane?"

"Yes," says Jane almost out of breath.

"Do you feel okay? You wanna go on?" the nurse asks her carefully.

"Yes! It hurts a little and, to be honest, I am not sure if I am doing it right…but… but it feels so right, so good…" The baby seems alarmed and stops eating and Jane startles. "What did I do?"

The nurse laughs. "It looks like your little champ wants her mommy all of her own. I think she doesn't like it when she's eating and you are talking to someone else."

The nurse steps aside and Jane turns her full attention to the baby. "Sorry, sweetie. It will never happen again. Mommy is very new to this and you have to help her a little." The baby is looking at her. "Do you want mommy to sing you a little song? Let's see if you remember it." And then, Jane starts singing very softly and the baby starts eating again, their eyes never loosing contact.

The baby falls asleep after a while in Jane's chest and Jane lifts her carefully, placing her little head on her shoulder, one hand supporting the baby's head and the other caressing gently her back. Jane closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she looks at Kurt. He winks at her, silently telling her that he is proud of her, and she smiles.

And he can tell she's happy. Deliriously happy. Content and sure of herself, because she won another fight. He is also sure of a couple of things. Jane and their daughter make a damn good team. And they both have them wrapped around their little fingers for the rest of their lives.


	9. Chapter 9: Home

"Come on daddy, open the door," says Jane. She's holding the baby in her arms. Her smile is radiant. They are standing in front of their door as Kurt struggles with keys, suitcases and the baby's seat. "Come on daddy, I wanna see my room and my toys."

Kurt laughs and opens the door for them. "Oh, Jane. You're going to use the baby now?"

She winks at him and goes inside. "Oh, my god," she says and stops. He looks at her questioningly and then looks at their living room. It's full of pink, white and light yellow balloons, teddy bears and a big banner saying "Welcome little girl!"

Sarah is now behind him. "Come on Kurt, move, I have to leave this bags. My hands…"

Jane turns to look at Sarah smiling. "Oh, Sarah, did you do all these?"

Sarah leaves the bags on the floor and comes to stand next to Jane. She smiles. "Yeah, me and Patty mostly, but everybody helped. You like it?"

"Oh, Sarah, I love it… Look what aunt Sarah did for you, baby. Do you see all these balloons? It's all for you. Come Aunt Sarah, we wanna give you a kiss," says Jane and kisses Sarah on the cheek. "Thank you, Sarah, thank you for everything," she whispers.

Sarah kisses her back. "Oh sweetie, it's my pleasure. My absolute pleasure. Anything for our little pumpkin. Oh god, I'm so excited we have a little girl. Have I told you how excited I'm for you little pumpkin? Have I?" Sarah is all smiles as she talks to the baby and kisses her tiny knuckles.

"No Sarah, actually you haven't said that in the last two minutes , and to tell you the truth, I was getting a little worried that you didn't like us anymore," Kurt teases her and she hits him on the ribs. He kisses her temple. "You are the best sis."

Jane is already in the living room showing the baby around, explaining everything to her. "Come on, go to your girls. I'll take care of the suitcases and the baby's presents."

Kurt joins his girls. "So does she like it so far? Or do we have to redecorate?" He hugs Jane from behind, putting his hands around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I think she likes it a lot. Go to her room?" Kurt opens the door for Jane and they enter the nursery together.

"Hey, little angel, this is your room. Daddy and I decorated it. Do you like it? This is your bed. This is where you will be sleeping. Well, when mommy is strong enough to be more than a few inches away from you," she says and turns to Kurt "Which is not happening very soon. I cannot leave her all alone in here , Kurt..."

"We will not leave her alone, Janie. That's why we also got the crib. She'll be sleeping next to you. Within arm's length," he reassures her. Their daughter is just two days old but Jane is already addicted to her. He's too. It hurts when they are not with her when they are not holding her.

"And do you see this mobile above your bed? It's daddy's gift. You see those stars and the sun and the moon? He got all these for you, baby. And if we press this button, then … do you hear this? It's a little song for you when you'll be sleepy". Jane says softly to the baby who doesn't stop looking at her mother's eyes.

And then she shows her the library. Yes, their two-day old daughter has a library. It's Patty's and Borden's godchild, so of course she has a library. And yes, there are a lot of Shakespeare's books adapted for kids in there. Because again, she's Borden's goddaughter. And Jane's daughter who has every single Shakespeare book in her own library (yes, Borden is to blame for this too).

"Daddy put this together and mommy with your godparents got all the books. See how many books you have? Do you remember when mommy was reading to you? We'll read your favorites tonight." Jane is glowing. She talks and stops to kiss the baby and then talks and then kisses her again and again and again.

"And look at this wallpaper. Daddy's choice too. Look at these cute little animals, the giraffes and the elephants and the tigers. Your own little jungle. Do you like it? And this is mommy's chair. Mommy's and yours. We'll sit here when you're hungry. See what it does? It goes back and forth. Isn't that fun? Huh? It's mommy's favorite." She looks at Kurt as she sits in the chair holding the baby tightly to her chest. "Do you believe this? We're home with her."

He smiles and kneels in front of them kissing the baby's head. "I know," he says, "I know".

"I'm so happy Kurt. I'm … Is this real? I'm a little scared that..."

He knows what she wants to say. What she's afraid of. She's scared that something will go wrong and everything will be taken away from her. He gets up and frames her face with his hands. "Come here, beautiful girl," he says and kisses her.

"She's real, this is real, we are real. And we deserve this, okay?" She nods. "I'm here with you and everything will be fine." She nods again.

She believes him. She really does and she smiles. "Okay," she says.

"Okay, now give her to me. I've missed her. I'll show her the toys. Well, that could take a couple of hours kiddo, because your godparents, aunties and uncles and your mom, well let's just say that they go overboard sometimes." He gets the baby, kisses her head, and holds her close to him.

Jane looks at the two of them smiling. Her heart is so full. She's a lucky, lucky woman. Because this man in front of her, he's the best man in the whole world and he's hers and only hers. And she can't wait to see their daughter growing up and taking after her dad. There's nothing more she would like in the world.


	10. Chapter 10: Thirty minutes

The first days with the baby in the house are like a fairy-tale as Jane keeps saying. She doesn't give them a hard time at all, and even if she does, they have had such bad times in the past, that anything that has to do with their baby for them is just a reason to be happy. She sleeps at the night waking up only to eat, she gains weight, she likes being with people, she likes snuggles and hugs.

Although, he hates to admit it in front of Jane, the few times his daughter cries, it really gets to him and makes him nervous. Jane, on the other hand… Well, as it seems, Jane is as great at this as she is in most other things. She keeps telling him, and he knows she gets deep satisfaction in this, that she can recognize the baby's different crying voices and always knows what the baby wants her to do. Which is true. Because whatever she does, the baby stops crying in her mother's arms.

It's annoying, actually, at least, sometimes. Like when the baby is crying in his arms, and he cannot make her stop and Jane looks at them smirking deviously. "Stop it Jane! Is she hungry? Do we need to change her diaper? Is she in pain? What? Tell me!"

"She just ate Kurt, and you just changed her diaper!" Jane laughs.

"Then, tell me what it is!" he demands as she lies in the couch, feet up, holding a white fluffy bunny and blue elephant in her arms. "Is your heart made of stone? Don't you get upset when your only child cries like that?" he reprimands her.

She always laughs at him. "Oh my god, Weller! You are such a drama queen! She is fed, she's clean, and this is not how she cries when she's in pain. She's just nagging right now."

"Nagging about what? Jane, tell me now or else…" he looks at her angrily.

"Or else what? I have all the cards now baby! You cannot threaten me…" she laughs at him. He gives her another angry look but she sends him back a kiss… Damn her… "Give her to me and I'll make her stop crying…"

"I'm not going to give her to you, Jane. It's still my thirty minutes. You had your thirty minutes. In fact, you had thirty six," he says annoyed.

"How about you give me five minutes of your time if I tell you what to do to make her stop?" she asks with a smile.

"This is a new low for you, Jane. Just saying…" he says shaking his head. He turns his attention to the baby again. "Oh, come on monkey, please stop crying. What do you want daddy to do? Are you tired? You wanna sleep?" He puts the baby to rest on his shoulder but she cries harder. It makes his heart break.

"Don't put her on your shoulder. Hold her in your arms, the back of her head and her back in your chest, one hand under her knees, the other on her belly. And keep walking around the room. It's a new thing. She wants to observe." Yes, she does. She stops crying immediately and looks content.

He looks at Jane, still kind of angry, but he says thank you. She has that look on her face. "You're welcome. It's always satisfying to know what your kid wants."

He snaps at that and takes the baby outside in the balcony. It's the middle of June and their almost three weeks old daughter enjoys the fresh air. The temperature is high but it's not hot.

Jane comes to join them after a while with a bowl full of ice cream and a spoon. "Still angry?" she asks. He doesn't answer. "Ohhh, daddy cannot accept that mommy knows more…"

God, if they were at the FBI now, he would carry her in the gym and spar with her… Or perhaps he should carry her into their bedroom to show her who knows more… But, she had been in pain a few days after they got home from the hospital, they had to go back and do some tests and the doctor suggested they weren't involved in any… activities, not yet.

He watches her eating the ice cream, licking her spoon (God he wants her here and now…) and knows exactly what to tell her to make her mad. "Perhaps, you should hold it there, baby. I know you are still eating for two but don't be so enthusiastic."

She turns to him with a murderous look putting the spoon down. He's the one smiling one, daring her and he knows she wants to hit him. But she controls herself. "You know what, _baby_? You may not like the way I look anymore, but there are a lot of people who _really_ appreciate my curves…"

He doesn't like the sound of that, he hates it actually, and it probably shows, because she is smiling again. "Oh yeah?" he asks annoyed.

"Yeah…" she answers back.

"Like who?" he demands.

"Like everybody I meet on the street when I go out. Like this nice guy that owns the delicatessen in the corner or the guy that owns the bookstore…" She knows very well that he hates both of them. Always smiling at her, always too eager to help her, to give her anything she wants, it's … And he has to admit they are good looking. That's why he hates them more.

She's licking her spoon again, all smiles, and he knows that she knows that she has got to him again, like every single time. She is stunning and he wants her and he will be jealous until he dies.

"You want some?" She offers him some ice cream but he refuses.

He kisses his daughter's head, cradling her in his arms. He takes her inside the house again and he lies on the couch, while the baby lies on his chest. He knows she likes it there hearing his heartbeat. He closes his eyes holding her tightly. He loves his life right now. He never thought he could ever be able to say that, be it is the truth. He loves his baby girl, he loves his amazing wife, he loves their house, his job, his friends. And it's all because of Jane. He would never be able to love or appreciate anything if it wasn't for her. His starting point. His everything.

He can feel her approaching, kneeling in the carpet next to him. "Are you still angry?" she whispers in his cheek. She knows exactly what she's doing to him and she loves it.

He doesn't answer. She doesn't give up. "Kurt baby…" Damn her…Damn her… "Don't you love me anymore baby?"

Her fingers trail one side of his jaw. He is losing control and he has to hold himself together because the baby is there with them. "I do," he says not opening his eyes.

"You do what?" Her cheek rests on his.

"I do love you," he says.

"But are you crazy for me?" Her fingers brush his arm.

This is getting very real. "Jane the baby is right here," he sighs still not opening his eyes.

"I know. We are not doing anything bad. Just talking…" Her fingers are now on his neck.

"I am crazy for you. You know that. Always will be." He can feel her smile at that.

"Can I have a kiss please?" she asks softly.

He opens his eyes. She's just an inch from his face. He remembers the first time they were in the same room, the interrogation room, her green eyes staring at him. "You idiot," he thinks to himself, "You never stood a chance against these eyes, never". He looks at her smiling. "You can," he says, "But be careful with the baby."

She leans over him, brushing his lips with hers and then kisses him so sweetly and so softly that it melts his heart. "I love you too Kurt. I love you so much. And I miss you."

"Always good to know this," he laughs.

The baby starts moving and Jane takes her in her arms. "Let's go baby. Let's get you dressed up in your new dress. Your godmother and Aunt Tasha are coming to see you."

Kurt gets on his feet and laughs. "Oh, Jane. I have to admit. I never thought you would dress up our kid like she's a Barbie doll. I feel like I should intervene here. I mean you and Patterson are crazy."

"Let us be, Kurt," she smiles.

Their baby's closet is like they have two different kids. More than half of her clothes are utilitarian pieces in earthy tones picked up by Jane, and the other half… Let's just say the other half has Patterson written all over it. Always with Jane's approval, it is full of pink and yellow and rainbow colored dresses, matching hats, little cardigans and shoes. The baby looks great on them, he has to give them that (but then again his daughter looks great in anything), but he could never imagine Jane's kid dressed like that.

One night while they were folding the baby's clothes, he told Jane that she didn't have to dress her baby with anything else but the things she likes. That, it's their baby and they'll dress it however they want. She hugged him, then, and told him that she adores the things they buy with Patterson. She is just sad that she is not bold enough to buy them herself. Maybe one day. He didn't think it was possible, but he loved her even more right then.


End file.
